What defines beauty? Part I: Decisions ……..

When I first walked into the shop (yesterday) Friday December 29, 2017, I felt scared, embarrassed, and I just overall felt like I didn’t know what would happen. All I knew was I wanted to leave there with less hair than I had when I walked in with.


The barber asked me what I wanted I told him and he didn’t question me or my decision. Finally, when it was my turn to get into the chair my stomach dropped and I was afraid. Being afraid powered my determination to stick to my decision despite the fact my dad of all people was telling me not to cut my hair like I wanted it.


I care about and love my dad tons but my mind was made up when I walked into that barber shop. I wasn’t walking out how I came in.


I had not come to a point in my life where I was so obsessed with my hair and needed it to define me that I couldn’t live without it.


I had been contemplating this decision for a while but figured I wouldn’t go forward with it because I was too afraid of being without my hair, and because I was afraid of what others might think of me. I was afraid of walking into the unknown. I was afraid to do something that would make others judge me (more than they already have/do) and possibly treat me differently.


But on the other hand, I don’t want to hold on to things that society defines as beauty. Why can’t I make my own definition of beauty? Why should I conform to what society tells me is beautiful ? Why? Why? Why? Why can’t I tear back every layer of myself to find the parts of me that shine ? The parts of me that are beautiful…….. The parts of me that are me…….

Keeping this mindset I decided to go through with my decision to cut all my hair off not only because I had some places in my head that were falling out and bald anyways(probably due to stress, medications I’m on, and chemicals) and my hair was damaged from chemicals and coloring but because I am on a journey learning to #love ME for ME,(flaws and all), following God’s purpose for my life, and just trying to think outside the box and express myself in healthy ways while staying true to the person I am and the person I strive to be ⬅️ Loving,God fearing, compassionate, patient, kind,selfless, etc )


So to answer the question at the top of this blog of what defines beauty?

I believe for a long time I was confused about what beauty was/is. I never felt beautiful but growing up and even as an adult I’ve had family and strangers tell me just how beautiful I am on the outside, but to me that was never enough. The older I got the more I wanted to become beautiful in every way I could be , but I always felt like I feel short because the type of beautiful I wanted to be was real, raw and hard to achieve. To me beauty is not just about wearing nice clothes, wearing tons of makeup, or having beautiful hair it is about being kind, patient, obeying God, loving others & doing all you can for them, and learning to accept and love yourself and becoming the best you day by day. Beauty is truly only skin deep and women need to realize that. Your qualities and actions are what make you a beautiful person not your looks, clothes, size,hair etc.


Side note: There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, nice clothes, long or short hair, etc but don’t get so wrapped up in these things that they start to define you and you start to depend on them, and you don’t feel “beautiful” without them . True beauty is so much more than outer appearance.


Beauty is only skin deep.

Be brave & stay true to yourself always ! ❤️


Inspire.Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

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Introduction to Author Natasha R. Minier 💚

I wanted to take a moment & say hello 👋 to all my new & old subscribers !💋💓


I am Natasha but some ppl call me Nat & my family calls me Tash. I am 24 years old & my page Facebook.com/natashaminier documents my journey with mental illness along with giving updates on my upcoming memoir, my book Words Are Art: See The World Through My Eyes & Colorless Love (BOTH BOOKS ARE NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON ), my weekly blog posts and sometimes random singing videos or vlogs.


My goal is to inspire others with my story and be a voice to all the people that have been suffering in silence. 💡🤐 I am young but I have been through tragedies I would never wish on another human being and I hope through my journey others will know they are not alone. 🌎🌻🌼 Mental health matters and I want to show my family, loved ones, & others I don’t know personally know just how devastating symptoms can be. The truth is we need to talk about mental health with one another and end the stigma. We need to show others it’s okay to speak out and SEEK HELP, ATTEND THERAPY, TAKE MEDS, etc. The people struggling with mental health issues need to know it is okay to do whatever you need to do to take care of your mental health. There is no need to be ashamed. You are NOT WEAK BECAUSE YOU SEEK HELP. You are BRAVE! REMEMBER THAT. We need to show more LOVE to the people like me, that struggle day in and day out with mental illness symptoms. I don’t exactly understand everything about my illnesses and despite the fact I have bad days, I will use everything I have for good & to change the world. 🗺 Love is the greatest gift you can give others and I will use every talent God has blessed me with & every piece of my energy to spread love, even on my bad days.💚


I wanted to say THANK YOU to you all for subscribing and taking your time to read my work! I appreciate all the likes & feedback! ❤️


Feel free to MESSAGE AND CONNECT WITH ME ANYTIME !

IG: wordsar3art

FB: Facebook.com/natashaminier

Snapchat: Natrobbie21

Twitter: Nattiee_101


This is a journey for me & I am confident God will get me through whatever may come & he will get you through too ! Let’s raise awareness about mental illness together !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ❤️

~ Natasha R. Minier


Surprise ANNOUNCEMENT …

If you have been reading my blogs, posts on my Instagram, or my Facebook posts on my author’s page for the past few months then you are aware how much I have been struggling and dealing with different symptoms caused by having mental illness, along with hospitalizations, discrimination, depression, self-harm etc. Through all that I have been fighting daily to try to stay balanced and on a path of wellness that honors God, myself, my morals, and to get into a mindset where I am showing plenty of love to myself & those around me. One of my biggest goals of 2017 was getting 2 books written and available for others to read. Unfortunately, I have felt so trapped and incapable of doing things, I came to a standstill when working on both my upcoming Memoir & Colorless Love and I was convinced I never would finish them because of all the chaos happening in my mind and in my life………..


BUT I AM SO HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY 2nd book is on AMAZON.COM & is available for PURCHASE TODAY at the LINK BELOW !!!!!!!!

Colorless_Love_Cover_for_Kindle

Click to Purchase your copy of Colorless Love 

Description Below:

Colorless Love NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON


 I was so hesitant on when I should post about my new book, because lord’s willing my memoir will be out an available for purchase January 1st, 2018 , and I wanted to release both books at the same time. But I figured it’s Christmas and why not post on my blog today about Colorless Love ? It has been a lot and I do mean a lot, of tears, of longggg nights, and of just plain stress. Despite all this, I am so happy to be able to have finished my second book and have it available for you all to purchase! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy being able to share it with you! May it inspire you to LOVE MORE and JUDGE LESS !


Thank you so much for reading my work, take a few moments click on the above link to check out a sample of the book and happy reading ! (:



Merry Merry Christmas Everyone and I hope everyone is spending time connecting with family and making memories! Please keep me in your prayers and I will do the same for all of you ! Blessings always !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Damages Caused by Mental Illness Interview.

This clip is from an interview titled “The Damage Mental Illness Can Do,” And is now uploaded on YouTube. LINK BELOW


In this interview I am answering some unexpected questions about mental health and my journey with mental illness.


I am opening up and talking about my past fears, current struggles, and future worries. I am being transparent, so that others who watch it suffering too will know they are not alone.


I hope this video is an inspiration for others & I hope if you are a family member or close friend of mine this gives you a better idea of what I’m going through, and how living with this illness has been for me. I hope this also shows just how human and imperfect I am and in turn this shows you that if you are suffering it is okay to SPEAK OUT and seek help. ❤️


Thank you for all the love and support & please tell me how I can continue to help and inspire. DM on IG ( @Wordsar3art) or e-mail me anytime! I love hearing from you all ! ❤️


Click below to watch full interview:

The Damage Mental Illness Can Do Interview Video


Inspire.Motivate. Love Natasha M.

No Suffering in Silence.

Falling to pieces………Drowning in sorrow….Staring at a unworn cross necklace……Holding back the hate, disgust, and mixed emotions I feel towards myself and the world. Thoughts of self – harm, razor in hand, thoughts of death plague me. Numbness….. Ready to go, climb back in my box, in my zone and sort out the broken pieces of my life, sort of the broken pieces of me. Processing losing loved ones to the justice system & others who walked away, big decisions to make. The world never stops turning, no matter how much pain I’m in. It doesn’t stop spinning,let you regroup, figure out your issues then continue on. No, you must regroup while the world and time continue to move. My thoughts are running in circles. Take the meds they say. Pray they say. Believe this they say. Cope they say. Take it a day at a time they say. Believe God will get you through this they say. My thoughts are lost…..I’m lost. Depression has a grip on me so tight I honestly really don’t know if it will ever let go, or if I will be “weak” as they say and succumb to it and let it have me. I could never do that, right ? I really don’t know anymore. Who cares ? Never feeling good enough. Never feeling like anything I do is good enough. Lost. Lonely. Cold. Frustrated. Aggravated. Confused. Sad. Mad. Optimistic..and empty. No one and I mean no one seems to get it and the worse my symptoms and thoughts get the more I shut the world off from me. They won’t understand. They won’t accept me. I don’t want to deal with others when I am unstable & in pain. No friends. No family … just me and Lil🐾 and even she deserves better than me. There doesn’t seem to be answers in the places I have been looking. There seems to be nothing but emptiness that continues to fill me. When I close my eyes I see darkness, a place where I want to hide.


Please refrain from commenting on this post.


Thanks for taking time and reading my journey ! It is what it is, and life just sucks sometimes .

All Of Me.💚❤️

I’ve been singing 🎶 quite a bit, getting ready for my upcoming book releases 📖,

and being a little sick due to ill effects from food/meds, I believe.


Something I continue to struggle with day in and day out is self-hatred. Feeling like I’m not good enough, feeling like a burden, feeling like a mistake, felling like I deserve bad things that have happened to me, overall just feeling icky about myself and who I am.


But despite those thoughts and feelings I’ve had for years, I am on a mission to learn to love &take care of myself better. I’m not perfect at it, but I have been better. I’ve been more in tune with taking care of my body. I’ve been better with accessing how I feel &when I need to remove myself from a toxic or triggering situation. I don’t miss doses of meds. I’ve started to watch what I eat and I am in the process of transitioning to full vegan, I’ve been a vegetarian for about 8 or so years and I’m ready to take it a step farther. I want to care for my body & mind in ways I’ve neglected to in the past.


All these things I’ve been doing are self-care .Basic self-care can be really hard for me some days. Especially those days I have no appetitie and I don’t want to get out of bed due to depression. But practicing these new self-care habits has started to help me to care about and love myself more. It’s definitely a DIFFICULT process but I pray it continues and become easier even on the difficult days.


I dedicate this song to myself because I’m truly learning to love All of Me ! 💚❤️ Flaws & all. Excuse all my silly faces in the video! I was literally looking at myself and singing to myself ! 🤓 because why not ? It’s a great feeling to sing to myself, be silly, and just embrace my flaws. This video makes me smile ! 😊😀


I hope that if you suffer from self-hatred, negative thoughts about yourself, or low self-esteem you find ways to LOVE and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Embrace who you are & all those beautiful and amazing things about yourself! You are beautiful, handsome, amazing, cool, special and God loves you & don’t let the world 🌎 tell you any different ….


Inspire. Motivate. Love 

~Natasha R. Minier

Drawing New Lines.

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I didn’t draw new lines because I wanted to break rules and go against everything I once believed in. I am deciding to draw new lines in my life because I am sick and tired of trying to fit (my colors) who I am into the “lines” aka expectations I felt others put on me, and even the ones I put on myself. I have caused myself to remain coloring inside the same old lines, because I felt I was doing the best I could for myself.


I am sick and oh so very tired of trying to “fit in,” by being everything I think everybody else wants or needs me to be. Living a life to simply please other people just to not be alone is no longer worth it. I have found many people do this & it is a miserable life to live. When I am up in the middle of the night & can’t sleep, or I’m crying for hours, self harming, in the hospital, just overall NOT OKAY. Not one of those people who I tried, for so long to “keep my color inside the lines for” is anywhere to be found. So the question is why have I/we been wasting time on people who simply want us to conform to who and what they feel we should be ? WHAT ?


I could just scream today because I am sick of others telling me who or what I am or who or what I should be.


You are sensitive, Don’t be so weak, You are lazy, it’s so hard to be your friend, dealing with you and with your mental illness is too much, I don’t love you, I am not willing/capable to give you what you want/need, (Mental Illness), “Oh I can’t relate.” I will NEVER be able to understand mental illness, or those times where I tried to open up about my mental illness symptoms and I was literally ignored or the subject was changed …………


You know what I am so ashamed of myself, the same people who said those things 👆🏽(Up there)to me I tried to convince them why I was worth it their time. I tried to convince them how I could be who they wanted me to be. I attempted to convince why they should stay in my life and be my friend, associate, and sadly even my husband and ultimately I tried to convinced them why I was worth being in their life.


Me convincing them and conforming (keeping my coloring in the lines) to who or what I they wanted me to be worked, for a while. But then they ended up feeling exactly what they had said to me initially and they ended up leaving my life in one way or another. Whether I cut them off because I found out the relationship was unhealthy for my mental health or some other reason.


Looking back on it, it honestly seems like all of those relationships negatively affected my well-being and mental health, and as painful as it has been to have my life fall apart friends gone, x hub gone. I was tired of coloring in the lines.


I have grown tired of being what I everyone else wants me to be, so now I will live my life being who I feel God wants me, sticking to my morals, and being honest about my mental health. No more hiding, no more convincing people why I’m a diamond in the rough (like my mom says) if you can’t see it then you must not belong in my life.


I am making a commitment to myself, no more coloring in the lines aka conforming to what/who others tell me they want me to be. I’m not perfect and I have many flaws but no one,not me, not you should be changing themselves just to have friends, a bf,gf, husband,wife,etc because it’s not worth it and it’s exhausting.


Don’t hide yourself, your mental illness symptoms, your self harm scars, your tears, your anxiety, those are what make you, you. and something’s are out of our control. We must cope & surround ourselves with people who we don’t have to hide our imperfections from and say we are okay when NOTHING’S OKAY.


Surround yourself with people that love you despite your flaws and imperfections. Surround yourself with people who won’t call you names, who won’t make jokes about mental illness or treat you differently once they find out you have mental illness, or make you feel unwanted, unloved and like a burden, or look down on you for the self harm scars on your legs/arms/etc


Surround yourself with people who will love you with no boundaries & who will love you for you because you are worth it and so am I.❤️😘


 

Inspire.Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

* I don’t own this photo.*