I’m sure I’ve heard the preacher say something about thinking back on all those times God got you through . Many times when we are going through hard times and dealing with difficult situations we are so busy worrying, we don’t acknowledge that God has brought us through things before, why wouldn’t he bring us through that thing we going through now?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27 NIV
The month was August, the year was 2011. I believe the day was the 21st and when I woke up that morning, I had no idea what was going to happen that night . I woke up and I remember heading to work and working for the majority of the day. (At the time I worked in the mall at Auntie Anne’s pretzel shop.)( Fun Fact: I am positive that to this day, I can still roll a pretzel ! ) After I got off, I headed home to shower and after that I planned to go hang out with friends.
(Weeks leading up to this particular day I was experiencing extreme levels of sadness and hopelessness. I was feeling so down, I told someone I hoped something bad happened to me. I remember feeling numb to my life. About 3 months and 9 days prior to this, 2 weeks before I graduated high school I was sexually violated by a family friend. My mind was still trying to digest what happened and I was at a point where I wasn’t myself. My behavior had become reckless. I was doing things outside of my character & morals. I was slipping away from the world and at that point, I was okay with that. I wasn’t concerned about my well being or the emotional state I was in. )
Fast forward August 21, 2011: After showering and getting dressed, I got into my white Chevrolet Cavalier and headed to my friend’s apartment. Before I left the house I remember my mom said something like be careful Tasha and I probably replied like okay mom. It was dark outside when I headed out that night and (Random thought: I somewhat remember my outfit, I had on flip-flops, leggings, and my favorite black shirt with a butterfly on the front of it.) I remember being exhausted but wanting to go hang out with my friends anyways. I stayed at my friend’s house a few hours, hanging out, talking, laughing, girl stuff, etc. This night out of all nights I am so thankful I didn’t have any alcohol to drink. For reasons I don’t remember, my friend hadn’t bought any alcohol. Who knew how much this would matter that night?
I believe I left a little after twelve am. I remember looking down at my clock in my car and it read 12:18 or 12:21 am, or maybe I had looked at it twice. I really can’t remember. While driving home I noticed something I believe now was odd, I saw a cop car pass . ( It was like a sign something was about to happen , it was weird.) After the cop car passed I kind of brushed it off and continued driving. I continued down the long dark road that led me back home. Next thing I remember is looking down and by the time I looked back up, I felt my car going off the road. My first reaction was panic. Panic filled my body, so I almost immediately attempted to jerk the car back onto the road. But oh was it the wrong choice for me to try to take control of car and put it back “where I wanted it.”
(Pause: In a sense this is exactly what I had been doing with my life. My behavior had become reckless, I was smiling on the outside but angry on the inside. Because of this I attempted to take control of my life just like in that moment when I attempted to jerk the car back to where ” I wanted it.” I did what I wanted. I was acting out of character and I didn’t care about living. I had lost hope. So in that moment I attempted to control the car like I was attempting to control my life, which seemed to be spiraling down into unknown darkness.)
Exactly like my life had, the car took me to an unexpected place and within seconds of me attempting to put it back on the road, it began flipping. In those next moments all I thought to myself is goodbye family & friends, so I began saying goodbye to my family & friends in my mind. I thought I was probably going to die. All of a sudden the car landed. (Upside down from what I was told) I am not sure how many minutes or seconds went by after the car landed, but I opened my eyes the seat belt was holding me in place. I unbuckled it and began thinking to myself, I have to make it through this, I have to live. I was in a daze but I found a way out through a busted window ( I think it was the back window.) I immediately ran as fast as I can to the street and attempted to flag down a car to help me. The first car I attempted to flag down for help continued driving even after I waved after them to stop. Then a truck came. The truck slowed and had male passengers on the back. I remember hearing one of males yell something like she’s bleeding . The passengers on the back of the truck hopped off and told me not to move, called the police and asked me for my parents number to call them also. (I am so thankful to God in heaven for the people that stopped and actually helped me. They didn’t think twice about helping me, they saw me, slowed down and hopped off the truck and began talking to me, calling the police & my parents.)
I was in complete shock, all I could do was cry. ( I remember my mom telling me later that, when they called her all she remembered was hearing me crying in the background, and that was sign of relief because she knew I was alive.) After a few moments the police & paramedics arrived. I was put on a stretcher, little did I know I had a pretty deep laceration on my head . I was so shaken up and out of myself I don’t remember feeling the blood running down my face. After I was put in the ambulance there was a guy back there watching and talking to me. I remember feeling sleepy and he told me a few times, stay with him meaning stay awake. I remember him continuing to talk to me until we got to the hospital, once there I remember a lot of people standing and talking over me, and cutting my clothing. Next thing I remember they x-rayed me , and by that time my parents had arrived.
To make a long story short the doctors put skin glue on the laceration on my forehead, to close up the wound. Skin glue I guess, isn’t supposed to scar as bad as stitches. They also put dissolvable stitches on my right arm close to my elbow. (There was a deep wound there.) All the other wounds I had did not require stitches or special attention. I had glass in my hair and wounds in my scalp. I also had superficial cuts on my hands and my knee hurt, but was not broken. We stayed in the emergency room for hours. I’m positive it was 5 am or later on the 22nd when they finally released me from the hospital.
Over the next few weeks, my face became swollen and for a week or two my mom couldn’t even comb or brush my hair fully. There were scabs and glass still in my scalp/hair. I felt horrible but I was in shock that I had even made it out alive . The day after the accident we went to the junkyard/scrapyard and tried to see if any of my stuff was left in the car. To my horror the below pictures shows what I saw.
Talk about speechless, no words could describe how I felt the moment I laid eyes on my car after the accident. I was shocked. How did I get out of this car alive? I mean why did I walk away from this accident with only injuries that would heal ? I didn’t know what to think at this point . This accident is something I don’t really talk about unless people ask about the scars on my face, but I felt it was something necessary to tell. I am alive because God kept me and my purpose hadn’t been fulfilled at that time. To this day looking back on it, I still can’t believe I made it out alive of that car in the pictures above.
My point is a lot of times in our lives we are going through things. Just as I attempted to grab the wheel of the car that night and put it back on the road where I wanted it in that moment , we try to control our lives in different ways. Instead of trusting in God, we trust in ourselves. We don’t realize that God has a plan for each of our lives, and he had a plan for mine that night.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand why I didn’t die that night, but I think maybe because that wasn’t in God’s plan at that time. He still has more for me to do while I’m here. So I’ll make the best of it, by learning to love God with everything I am and everything I have, I will learn to love myself and those around me better everyday, and you should too. Love God & Love People.
* I want to take a moment and apologize to my subscribers about this post getting sent out in an unedited/incomplete form, please keep in mind I’m only human. Also blogging just like all things in life takes work, editing, re-editing, etc. This is my passion & I love putting out work I am proud of for others & for myself. Thanks for your patience, I am sorry about that! ❤️ *
Thanks for reading & Happy Monday !
Inspire, Motivate, Love ~ Natasha M. 🌻