Struggle Becoming One’s Identity…

Struggle blogHey lovelies how is everyone? Happy Happy Monday.  UGH, I’ve missed blogging.  I’ve missed communicating with you all !:) When I don’t blog or allow myself time to write often I feel like something is missing, like a hole that I can’t fill by doing anything else. I feel as if I have no voice, no way to talk about my life, my obstacles, things I’m learning, and most importantly no way to connect with and help others or myself.


For the last few months, I have been dealing with deep despair. I’ve attempted suicide more than once, self-harmed, and depression and bipolar symptoms have plagued me so much that, some days I barely get out of bed to eat or brush my teeth. (GROSS RIGHT?) I finished the paperwork for my divorce, I started exploring new places, going on dates, trying to make new friends, trying to make light of a very dark situation. But with my habits, I usually end up pushing people away when I need them most just like I have done my family. Isolating has been my go to coping skill, which has made being alive worse. Let’s be honest, who likes to be lonely or alone in life, in general?


Funny thing is, I would say I am usually the one that will say “Don’t let your struggle become you identity,” but this time I have. This time, it’s me. I’m guilty. My struggle has enveloped me up and has become me. I might as well walk around with a sign that has my illnesses listed on it and introduce myself to people as my illnesses. This may sound ridiculous to some but this is how I feel. I tried to find and figure out who God made Natasha to be, but it seems my illnesses continue to overshadow who I want to be or who I feel God has made me to be, and therefore everyone around me no longer can see me.  They can no longer see Natasha. Goofy, humble, extroverted, corny, ambitious, fun-loving Natasha. Instead they see anger, isolation, mood-swings, sadness, self-harm wounds, and a unhappy and  unsatisfied person, among other things……When they look at me they see a disorder, something they want nothing to do with. Honestly, if I were them I would probably feel the same way. It is so much easier to walk away from something difficult than stay and figure the situation out.


Even though in some ways I feel my struggle has become my identity, I continue to ask myself where in the heck is my life going to go from here? And is there anyway for me to pick up the pieces of this mess I’ve created for myself?( I need God I know.) Through all this wandering, searching, and losing, I have been able to identify what it is I believe I lack along with thousands if not millions of other people lack also.


Lacking Love:

When you lack love for yourself, you will continue to feel not good enough, you will continue to let the little things people say and do traumatize you and make you question your own existence. When you lack love for yourself criticism tears you down to levels  you never knew existed in your mind. When you lack love for yourself your body means nothing, you simply want to feel pain or alleviate stress/chaos by harming your body in someway. When you lack love for yourself the blood dripping to the floor from your self-harm wounds mean nothing.  When you lack love for yourself, you try your hardest and you know you do but because other people say it’s not good enough you take their word for it. When you lack love for yourself, what people think about you affects what you think about yourself, until you truly began to love yourself. When you do begin to love yourself those same negative words and actions other people do to you began to roll off you like water. That emptiness that once ate you alive will begin to be filled with positive comments to yourself. You will began to believe you are loved, you will began to feed your body and view your situations & self as a whole with compassion. When you love yourself, in the back of your mind you know you’re good enough no matter what other people say.


So you know what take a second, take a moment  today and ask yourself  have you or someone you know let their struggle become their identity? If so how can you as a friend, Daughter,  Uncle, Coworker, Dad,etc reach out and help them? My final question is what will you do today to show yourself some love? ❤

Me, though it may seem simple today I am going to show myself some love by drinking some water and making sure I eat ! ❤


To My Subscribers/Readers :

I would like to say how deeply sorry I am to all of my readers for my lack of posting. I take writing very seriously but the more I go through periods of severe symptoms and discovery, the more I realize how much I neglect myself to give others what is left of me. If you are one of the people in the world that also does this, let me be the first to say this is an extremely UNHEALTHY way to live.  I have come to realize that if you neglect and don’t first love yourself and fulfill your own needs and wants, you will continue to feel emptiness, along with a feeling of deep emotional chaos and hurt, that words can’t describe.


As always thank you for reading ❤ Stay tuned for more honest, real, fun, encouraging and life changing blog posts ! 


Love you much!!!

Natasha M.

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Guess What?

Hello Lovelies & Happy Friday !!!! TGIF right ? What does everyone have planned for the weekend? I hope it’s something where you all can relax and decompress from a long week !


I think my 1st plan for this Friday morning is to take Lil (my pup) to starbucks with me to get a plain coffee with soy milk in it ! I simply have to find the energy to get up and do that though. 😅 Please keep me in your prayers. I am still tired, I went to bed superrrr late.


I also want to start on my 2nd book I am reading for the month but I have yet to do so. But I have been reading a new book titled Silence in the ibooks library that I find pretty interesting and scary because it deals with abuse and that kind of thing is so hard for me to read about due to things i’ve personally experienced. But the way the author tells the story so far is filled its plenty of detail and it explains how every action has a reaction. I really am starting to like reading non fiction better than fiction….. humm idk I’ll probably change my mind once I dive into another book!!! 📖 As corny as it may sound, reading is magical…. at least with some books….


To me this week has felt a bit longgggggggg as if it was dragging by! But thank God I got through it and I was blessed in various ways during this week and for that I can’t complain!


I also have a GREAT ANNOUNCEMENT for all of my awesome people who have been asking me about the paperback version of Colorless Love (—- CLICK ON TITLE for more info on purchasing your copy TODAY) and when it will be available for PURCHASE……..


WELP!!!! Guess what? You’ve guessed it the paperback version of Colorless Love along with the e-book is now available on Amazon! Happy reading & thank you for your support, patience, and feedback!

If you have already read the book, be sure to take time and leave me some feedback ! I love hearing from you all ! ❤️

Inspire.Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Happy New Year !!!

 


Hello all my lovely subscribers ! I wanted to be sure I take time and wish you and your families a VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! Though I am fearful of what will happen in the new year, I am looking forward to using all of my talents, energy, and resources to serve God and help and uplift others.  ❤


Happy NEW YEAR everyone ! BE blessed and please remain safe if you are going out !


2018love 2018


 

Inspire. Motivate . Love ~ Natasha M.

Introduction to Author Natasha R. Minier 💚

I wanted to take a moment & say hello 👋 to all my new & old subscribers !💋💓


I am Natasha but some ppl call me Nat & my family calls me Tash. I am 24 years old & my page Facebook.com/natashaminier documents my journey with mental illness along with giving updates on my upcoming memoir, my book Words Are Art: See The World Through My Eyes & Colorless Love (BOTH BOOKS ARE NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON ), my weekly blog posts and sometimes random singing videos or vlogs.


My goal is to inspire others with my story and be a voice to all the people that have been suffering in silence. 💡🤐 I am young but I have been through tragedies I would never wish on another human being and I hope through my journey others will know they are not alone. 🌎🌻🌼 Mental health matters and I want to show my family, loved ones, & others I don’t know personally know just how devastating symptoms can be. The truth is we need to talk about mental health with one another and end the stigma. We need to show others it’s okay to speak out and SEEK HELP, ATTEND THERAPY, TAKE MEDS, etc. The people struggling with mental health issues need to know it is okay to do whatever you need to do to take care of your mental health. There is no need to be ashamed. You are NOT WEAK BECAUSE YOU SEEK HELP. You are BRAVE! REMEMBER THAT. We need to show more LOVE to the people like me, that struggle day in and day out with mental illness symptoms. I don’t exactly understand everything about my illnesses and despite the fact I have bad days, I will use everything I have for good & to change the world. 🗺 Love is the greatest gift you can give others and I will use every talent God has blessed me with & every piece of my energy to spread love, even on my bad days.💚


I wanted to say THANK YOU to you all for subscribing and taking your time to read my work! I appreciate all the likes & feedback! ❤️


Feel free to MESSAGE AND CONNECT WITH ME ANYTIME !

IG: wordsar3art

FB: Facebook.com/natashaminier

Snapchat: Natrobbie21

Twitter: Nattiee_101


This is a journey for me & I am confident God will get me through whatever may come & he will get you through too ! Let’s raise awareness about mental illness together !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ❤️

~ Natasha R. Minier


Surprise ANNOUNCEMENT …

If you have been reading my blogs, posts on my Instagram, or my Facebook posts on my author’s page for the past few months then you are aware how much I have been struggling and dealing with different symptoms caused by having mental illness, along with hospitalizations, discrimination, depression, self-harm etc. Through all that I have been fighting daily to try to stay balanced and on a path of wellness that honors God, myself, my morals, and to get into a mindset where I am showing plenty of love to myself & those around me. One of my biggest goals of 2017 was getting 2 books written and available for others to read. Unfortunately, I have felt so trapped and incapable of doing things, I came to a standstill when working on both my upcoming Memoir & Colorless Love and I was convinced I never would finish them because of all the chaos happening in my mind and in my life………..


BUT I AM SO HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY 2nd book is on AMAZON.COM & is available for PURCHASE TODAY at the LINK BELOW !!!!!!!!

Colorless_Love_Cover_for_Kindle

Click to Purchase your copy of Colorless Love 

Description Below:

Colorless Love NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON


 I was so hesitant on when I should post about my new book, because lord’s willing my memoir will be out an available for purchase January 1st, 2018 , and I wanted to release both books at the same time. But I figured it’s Christmas and why not post on my blog today about Colorless Love ? It has been a lot and I do mean a lot, of tears, of longggg nights, and of just plain stress. Despite all this, I am so happy to be able to have finished my second book and have it available for you all to purchase! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy being able to share it with you! May it inspire you to LOVE MORE and JUDGE LESS !


Thank you so much for reading my work, take a few moments click on the above link to check out a sample of the book and happy reading ! (:



Merry Merry Christmas Everyone and I hope everyone is spending time connecting with family and making memories! Please keep me in your prayers and I will do the same for all of you ! Blessings always !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Damages Caused by Mental Illness Interview.

This clip is from an interview titled “The Damage Mental Illness Can Do,” And is now uploaded on YouTube. LINK BELOW


In this interview I am answering some unexpected questions about mental health and my journey with mental illness.


I am opening up and talking about my past fears, current struggles, and future worries. I am being transparent, so that others who watch it suffering too will know they are not alone.


I hope this video is an inspiration for others & I hope if you are a family member or close friend of mine this gives you a better idea of what I’m going through, and how living with this illness has been for me. I hope this also shows just how human and imperfect I am and in turn this shows you that if you are suffering it is okay to SPEAK OUT and seek help. ❤️


Thank you for all the love and support & please tell me how I can continue to help and inspire. DM on IG ( @Wordsar3art) or e-mail me anytime! I love hearing from you all ! ❤️


Click below to watch full interview:

The Damage Mental Illness Can Do Interview Video


Inspire.Motivate. Love Natasha M.

All Of Me.💚❤️

I’ve been singing 🎶 quite a bit, getting ready for my upcoming book releases 📖,

and being a little sick due to ill effects from food/meds, I believe.


Something I continue to struggle with day in and day out is self-hatred. Feeling like I’m not good enough, feeling like a burden, feeling like a mistake, felling like I deserve bad things that have happened to me, overall just feeling icky about myself and who I am.


But despite those thoughts and feelings I’ve had for years, I am on a mission to learn to love &take care of myself better. I’m not perfect at it, but I have been better. I’ve been more in tune with taking care of my body. I’ve been better with accessing how I feel &when I need to remove myself from a toxic or triggering situation. I don’t miss doses of meds. I’ve started to watch what I eat and I am in the process of transitioning to full vegan, I’ve been a vegetarian for about 8 or so years and I’m ready to take it a step farther. I want to care for my body & mind in ways I’ve neglected to in the past.


All these things I’ve been doing are self-care .Basic self-care can be really hard for me some days. Especially those days I have no appetitie and I don’t want to get out of bed due to depression. But practicing these new self-care habits has started to help me to care about and love myself more. It’s definitely a DIFFICULT process but I pray it continues and become easier even on the difficult days.


I dedicate this song to myself because I’m truly learning to love All of Me ! 💚❤️ Flaws & all. Excuse all my silly faces in the video! I was literally looking at myself and singing to myself ! 🤓 because why not ? It’s a great feeling to sing to myself, be silly, and just embrace my flaws. This video makes me smile ! 😊😀


I hope that if you suffer from self-hatred, negative thoughts about yourself, or low self-esteem you find ways to LOVE and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Embrace who you are & all those beautiful and amazing things about yourself! You are beautiful, handsome, amazing, cool, special and God loves you & don’t let the world 🌎 tell you any different ….


Inspire. Motivate. Love 

~Natasha R. Minier