Call her Lil 🐾 😯🌸

Happy Sunday everyone ! How has your weekend been? Mine has been filled with finishing up christmas shopping, snapchatting a ton, catching up with my  high school bestie, and today I will be packing for my trip, me and Lil leave tomorrow.


Can I get a drum 🥁 roll please……

I would like to introduce you all to my support animal, you can call her “Lil” for short.

img_0092I look at my baby 🐾 and wonder, how did I ever live with these illnesses without her ?


Believe me she doesn’t cure my mental illnesses, but her being here in my life really makes me feel not so alone during those low times. Lately, those times have seemed to be more and more frequent, and some days it’s hard to function. But it is nice to have someone who doesn’t just stare at you blankly (like I’ve had loved ones do)when you’re crying & falling apart, instead she climbs into my lap or lays close to me as if signaling me that everything is going to be okay. I catch myself being so thankful to wake up and see her little beautiful face looking up at me waiting for me to feed her, waiting for me to take her for a walk, play fetch with her, or do more training.


On the days it feels impossible to get out of bed, impossible to go to class, impossible to eat, impossible not to isolate from people, impossible to leave the house,impossible to do anything but have urges to self – harm or contemplate ways to take my own life , she has helped me SNAP BACK into reality and out of my own thoughts. Caring for her has made me more present when it comes to caring for myself. (Ex. making sure I eat, exercise, etc)


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I never knew how much a support animal would benefit me. Also, I never realized how smart a 7 month old pup (as of yesterday) would be, and how quick she catches on to training. She does and knows so much and her training has just began. Little does she know she has a happy, fun & meaningful life & job ahead of her and I am so blessed to have her as a part of my life.


Let’s be real, Lil is awesome, but life is life, nothing is perfect. The most stressful thing about having her is currently not being able to take her on campus with me, due to my school’s policy on ESA dogs,cats,etc.  Usually other places (stores,etc) have been really open about letting her be with me all the time.  Something that scares me is I’ve noticed I am becoming more attached to her. I even noticed myself getting anxiety when I had to leave and be away from her the other day. I have only had her for a month as of tomorrow, and she is already trained on basic commands, fetch, plus other things that help me, and she will continue training because I want her to get certified as an official service dog in the future. She has been such a breath of fresh air in my life ! She makes me laugh and she annoys me at some moments, but honestly I couldn’t imagine things any other way. My life would be more empty, lonely, and stressful without her !


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I think a really important thing is, finding what works for you in your life. Ask yourself and your doctor what will benefit you the most at this point in your treatment/recovery and go from there. Originally I did have some fear when  I first started looking into getting an ESA after my doctors agreed it would  benefit me. I thought, it might be more stress than benefit. My thoughts were, I barely can effectively take care of myself, how will I take care of an ESA ? Despite those thoughts I went with my gut and I went looking and ended up finding Lil, and I don’t regret my decision one bit. I take care of her and she takes care of me !


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❤  THANK YOU so much to my amazing doctors and therapists who care about my well-being and who want to see me LIVE & cope in healthy ways with my mental illnesses ! ❤


And on the other hand to all the people who have called me “weak”  or exiled me from their “friend groups” due to my conditions, or made me feel like I was an outcast, a nothing, unwanted,unloved, a burden, and disgusting, etc just know that your negativity is unneeded & despite everything you have said, done, made me feel, and the things you may continue to TRY TO DO TO  tear me down……….I WILL OVERCOME.


Inspire. Motivate. Love Natasha M.

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Mental Health Matters and This Is My Journey


I wake up some days and all I want to do is stay in bed or in one spot all day. My body wants one thing and my mind wants another. I feel down dealing with the depressive end of bipolar symptoms, I want to isolate from people, I don’t care about eating or doing self-care. I just want to stay in my misery and keep it to myself so I am not a burden to anyone else with my hopeless feelings or talk of how bad I feel.


So what right ? Everyone has their own battles to fight and I don’t want to make it seem like my issues with mental illness are more significant than anyone else’s problems. We all struggle and have battles to fight just in different ways and in different areas of our lives. Certain days my body says one thing and my mind says something else, and that was definitely the case today. My body felt tired but my mind started going and going. Days like today I can’t figure out where my body gets the energy or drive to go and just do, but I am thankful today was one of those days. As much as I wanted to just say blah, I didn’t. I was able to get up, clean a little bit, and exercise. I have/ am still learning to be grateful for those bright and beautiful moments like me having energy to do my makeup,straighten my hair, hang out with friends, go to class, brush my teeth, etc because I know when I experience escalated symptoms like I have been for the last few months and I feel lower than low these things seem like the hardest things ever to try to do.


I am so thankful that I was able to do some self-care not only for my physical well-being but also for my mental well-being . One moment at a time on the path to wellness, it hasn’t been a perfect journey thus far but it will be worth it. I am thankful for my victory today & I hope you take time to appreciate and acknowledge your victories too !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ~Natasha M.

Continue ;


When you are going through a “storm” in your life, it seems like there is no way to get out of it, and then God pulls you through. It’s so hard to think about those times when the storm has seemed to last so long or you feel it’s taking everything away from you. But fear not, God got you out once and he will DO IT AGAIN.


Today I choose to continue through the storm ;

 If you are struggling with mental illness or different forms of stress, (we are all human and we all have our own battles to overcome) my hope is that you continue through the storm also. God has our backs, and he has a plan and purpose FOR EACH ONE OF OUR LIVES.


Have a great Saturday lovely people ! You will be hearing from me soon lord’s willing !


Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Redefining Art, Bad Habits, and a Survey

Hello my beautiful subscribers & readers, how has everyone been ? Busy I am sure, getting things done and living.


I noticed days ago that I have not blogged in about a month,how sad is that ? Well for me it’s very sad. Writing is my love, it’s one of the ways I live, express myself and embrace living. The more I skip blogging not only am I more stressed, but it seemed to get  easier  for me to keep not doing it. Bad habits are so easy to form, but even harder to break, have you noticed that ? 


I have been learning and attempting to take in so much new information in school and I’ve been writing in my notebooks but avoiding blogging. Isn’t it weird the things we notice ourselves doing? Unfortunately, by the time we catch the problem it’s so far gone that by that time, we’ve formed a new bad habit.


Today I decided to dive right back into blogging, and forgive myself that I haven’t blogged for a month. I have experienced quite a bit in the last few weeks, so let me fill you in. Lots of homework that is for sure and writing nonfiction papers ( my favorite)! I also got to see a new even bigger fair than the one I showed you all in a blog previously, it was cool but involved lots of walking! I also switched a few things in my upcoming memoir that I think will really help readers get a better perspective of what I have experienced. I’ve tried some new vegan restaurants, went snorkeling, traveled to catalina island, and one of the best things of all I got to visit my family this past weekend and it was so nice to get time with my mommy.  Things have been so sad and busy for me lately I am so thankful I was able to take a few days to go visit! It is always necessary to take time to BREATHE and eat some vegan food! haha My mom officially loves kombucha now! Have you ever tried kombucha? Or heard of it? If so, do you like it?


I have been reading this book titled Artisan Soul for my Christianity and Creative Processing class. Have you ever read it? If not you should. The author Erwin McManus is an amazing writer. In this book,  McManus brings up some really good points that have inspired me to write not only because we were required to for homework, 😅 but because it spoke to me. Below I shared two quotes I picked out and responded to.


         Artisan Soul: Page 3 “No matter where we are, we live in a world of artists.”

A lot of time we don’t realize that, we are more creative than we give ourselves credit for. Everyone is an artist in their own way. When people hear the word artist, most of us immediately think of a person doing some type of art. People don’t seem to consider how much we create to handle everyday situations. We create problems, solutions, questions, ideas, etc. Not everyone is a painter, dancer, actor, writer, etc. but we all create. This statement furthered my definition and outlook of what an artist is. I realized creating makes you an artist. Create opportunities to spread love. Create new ways to look at a common issue. Create a new way to define something. Creating is what having an artisan soul is all about.


Have you ever thought about what “art” is to you? Do you believe you are an artist & you create?


This class has been so eye-opening. It really has challenged me to want to create more, approach art with a new set of eyes, and it has helped me to redefine what creativity and art can be.

It was so good to finally blog ! Don’t worry, you will hear from me soon, lord’s willing! Below find some pictures of me and my family from this past weekend !

 In the meantime I am doing a project and I would love to hear feedback! If you didn’t receive the Mental Health Awareness survey in your email please help me out and take the survey by clicking the word 👉🏽 Awareness 👈🏽!

Have an amazing Wednesday ! ☀️❤️ Be blessed & find a reason to smile today !

Inspire, Motivate, Love ~Natasha M.

 

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My little sister, my mommy, & me

Smile Today.

Hey beautiful Subscribers ! How is everyone? It seems like it’s been a long time since I last posted. The last two weeks have been a bit hectic between attending classes, homework, new friends, moving, getting settled, chapel services, adding/ dropping classes, etc things have been pretty busy for me. I am so thankful to be sitting down and taking some time to write.


Can’t forget to take that time to BREATHE and do some SELF-CARE. What kind of things have you done this week for self-care ? I am sure some of  you are probably thinking that, I talk A LOT about self-care. I talk A LOT about it because it is very important to me and it’s something that I want us all to remember to do. Also, talking about it in my blogs makes me hold myself more accountable and I hope it does the same for you or even more .


I don’t know about you but usually when I am faced with a new situation I am a little  nervous.


I sat there in the library, I stared around. I looked at books, I looked at my computer screen and lastly I looked at my reflection in the window. Wow, I thought to myself I need to get to work and rearrange my schedule. I logged onto the website and began searching through my class requirements, it took me a while but I ended up finding a class that matched what I was looking for. I added myself to the class successfully.

The next day arrived. I was nervous but excited to go to this class which happened to be a creative writing class. I got there early and I looked around and found my class. In the hallway beside my classroom there were students waiting. I began talking to them asking them if they were going into the class I was and I also asked their majors.


To my surprise, GUESS WHAT their majors were? drum roll please…… ENGLISH.

So I was not only in the right place for class, but I had met some English majors! Before I knew it, it was time to go into class. I not only got to write for this class but I also got to see my professor’s book cover for his upcoming book!


As class moved along, at some points I didn’t know what was going on, due to it being my first day. In spite of not knowing what was being talked about at some moments, this class session was one of the highlights of my week ! To get to do what I love, be taught how to improve, and to be able to explore writing in a different way, is exciting! I felt calm and content after class ended for the day, it’s as if that was where I was supposed to be all along. This feeling made me feel that despite everything I’ve been feeling lately everything was going to be fine. Maybe God wanted me in one place but it’s like I was going everywhere but where he wanted me.



 

My Journey With Writing :

My memory as a small child is in bits and pieces, I don’t remember exactly what age I wrote my first poem, song , or story. However, I do remember trying to write poems and songs at about age 11 or so.  During this time I didn’t realize how much writing would steal my heart. I grew up and continued to go through the motions and obstacles of life and writing was put on the back burner. Don’t get me wrong I wrote for class papers, projects, etc but free writing I don’t remember doing as high school moved along. It was pretty rare that I did. High school came and went and I graduated. Writing  didn’t come back into my life for good until, after I joined the military and it began to pull on my heart-strings. Writing became a way for me to express my true thoughts and feelings with words. At the time writing helped me to describe the pain I was in, dealing with anxiety and the death of a loved one. Writing became my go to and it freed my mind in ways that nothing else at the time could do. Writing became my comfort, it became a thing I could run to, where I could hide from the troubles of this life. My notebook was a place where I could be whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted to. As I have gotten older and been dealing with an illness for the last four years writing has become a part of me and who I am. I couldn’t imagine myself not writing. Writing has become my way to connect with and spread love to others. Writing has become the way I make sense of the world. Writing has become me.


The older I get the more I realize I enjoy creating things, it keeps my mind busy. Creating a to do list, creating a new writing, creating a new book idea, creating a new blog, creating a way to connect with people and spread love. Create, create, create. I have grown to enjoy and participate in different forms of art! (ex. acting, singing,painting). Do you have a certain type of art that you enjoy?


Thank you for reading and letting me share my journey with you !


“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.” – Jon Bon Jovi


 

Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Farewell To My Summer and The Place I Called Home 

Time was ticking away….. The sun was up and it was getting close for the time for me to get going. I continued to sit in my chair silently and let my thoughts wonder. Immediately, my thoughts went to summer ending, and how it all seem to just happen so fast. The summer had come to an end, and I was now living in an unfamiliar environment & attending school. My thoughts of the unknown remained.


Suddenly, my mind began going through my memories of the summer & all the work I went through writing essays, mailing transcripts , making phone calls researching & applying to schools, traveling to the east coast, dying and cutting my hair,etc. I continued going through my memories as if it was a slide show, one memory after the other. As I started traveling back in time in my mind, I began to laugh out loud. One of the funniest memories I remember is in May, when me and my mom were at the beach and my mom put her toe in bird 💩 thinking it was a seashell. 😂 🌊


So many times we get so caught up in thinking about the future, we aren’t mindful of the present. Sometimes we fail to just reflect on the memories we have. So, I decided to make a slide show of some of my beautiful 2017 summer memories for myself & to share with you all. What is your favorite memory from your 2017 summer? 


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​Summer seems like it flew by now that I look back on it. Geez, my first week at my new school is already over !!! Overall, I am thankful for my adventures and the time I got to spend with my family over the summer! I was so happy my mom was able to fly out twice to see me this summer ! We had a good time at Welcome Weekend last weekend! Words can’t describe how lucky I am to have her as my mom !


Over this summer through learning more and experiencing difficulties , I have grown. God has really been working on my heart and mind and I pray he continues to do so. I am expecting this semester to be an adventure and a struggle !


I guess I can officially say  “Farewell To My Summer and The Place I Called Home, it’s time for the next chapter of my story.”



Happy Friday & thanks for reading ! God loves you !


 

Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.

Visiting Familiar and Unfamiliar Places (Part V)



We got back from Ohio on a Sunday evening. I was pretty tired from a long weekend, so I slept a good amount on the way back to my parent’s home. The following day on Monday me & my mom decided to go to the World of Coca-Cola!

I hadn’t been to the world of Coca – Cola for a long time, so I was beyond excited to go on an adventure here !🤓😎❤️


Before actually going to buy our tickets, I decided to take a few moments, enjoy the view and take some fun pictures. Afterall,  this place was beautiful. There were museums, the aquarium, statues, the world of coke, and probably other things I didn’t notice in this huge park like location.



Fun Fact Below!



When I first walked up to the ticket window, I was glad there wasn’t a long line! It always seems when going to places on weekdays there is less of a crowd. Have you ever noticed different places being less crowded on weekdays?


I was just happy to be there and even more excited to go in ! While walking in I took photos and noticed how so many things seemed different. Despite the fact I had been here before, this place looked unfamiliar to me.



When we first walked into the World of Coke, we all were led to this room filled with different decorated coke bottles, along with a huge timer hanging on the wall. Some of the below pictures show exactly what I saw, while in “the waiting room.”



I took a picture of these maps because they were made in a variety of languages for people traveling from all over the world to visit The World of Coca-Cola.


One of the next things I noticed was that they were giving away FREE coca-colas !!!! YAY!!! They were not only giving them away for free but they had choices ! Bet you can’t guess which one I tried ? Have you tried any of these? Personally, I am not a coke drinker, but if you’re visiting The World of Coca-Cola how can you not drink some coke? Isn’t that the whole point of visiting THE WORLD OF COCA-COLA?


Different Types of Coca- Cola


Yep you guessed it, I chose the green one! I’m sure I picked this one because it was made with cane sugar and more importantly the can was green, and green happens to be one of my favorite colors !



After grabbing my Coca-Cola Life and putting it in my back pocket I waited for the timer to finish counting down until the next show started ! I looked around and continued to take in my surroundings, and continued to think about how everything seemed different.


 

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These pants were in the first room we were in after the timer went off ! There were some really neat and old things in this room! I thought these pants were funny looking, but at the same time kind of cute ! Would you wear them? Maybe as pajamas right ?



After this room and a movie of amazing moments that involved coca-cola, me and my mom kind of did our own thing. We had some great laughs especially in the 4-d theater they had. Something actually stabbed me in the back, and IT HURT! We continued walking around exploring the different exhibits and some of the amazingly decorated coca-cola bottles they had. Such great creativity!



The color pink has really started to grow on me ! I found this bottle one of the most beautiful! It has just the right touch of pink and white! Such beauty . What do you think?


Coca-Cola Factory 2017


I thought this bottle was simple yet cool ! Not really sure if I was supposed to be leaning on it ! But it was a great work of art, and as you can see it was HUGE !


As we continued our adventure through The World of Coca-Cola, we found more interesting and fun things. We even saw the polar bear character! It is unfortunate I didn’t get any pictures with the bear ! But I did get some other pictures, like mirrors on ceilings, other Coca- Cola products, and even videos!





“The Vault.” It is said that behind the below picture, there is  a vault where the secret formula for Coca-Cola is. When they said this, guess what ? I didn’t really believe them, I don’t think they would put something that important in a building where so many people come and tour. The actual vault looked a little fake to me, but then again who really knows where the secret to the Coca-Cola formula is …. What do you believe ? Do you think it’s actually there? 




Our adventure in The World of Coca- Cola was going great, that was until we went into the tasting room and that is where everything went downhill ! Unfortunately, I have not finished up the vlog that I took while in the tasting room ! It will be posted soon in a future blog ! This adventure was definitely another highlight of my 2017 summer vacation ! YAY!!!!!!!


Oh and just as a side note I did try the Coca-Cola Life after we left The World of Coca- Cola and it was okay, it didn’t taste like it had as much sugar as regular coke.


This travel series has been interesting to write and I am glad I wrote about memories that I can go back and read about whenever.  I am sad, but excited to be ending my travel series, for now that is. In the meantime I’ll be starting on new projects/blogs, getting adjusted to my new school and new town, and working on releasing my book in the next few weeks !  Stay tuned & thanks so much for reading this series !


Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Seneca

 

Inspire. Motivate. Love ~ Natasha M.