Simple Times …

Sibling PhotoCan we just go back to more simple times ? When all I had to worry about was what I’m wearing to school and getting A’s so I could get more allowance money ! I miss you dra aka chop chop 💕& I love you bro.


Gosh I’m sure not the perfect sister that I wish I can be. Sometimes life overwhelms me and I forget to answer your messages and I am not always able to be there for you like I want to be, but just know that I have your back and when I’m able to I will do anything to make sure you succeed and have what you need ! Geez life has kicked us, separated us from one another, knocked us down and just beat us until we were bloody & bruised. But we rose above it, we stayed close despite everything we’ve been through as a family & as siblings. People on the outside looking in have no idea where we’ve been and what we’ve been through. They can all keep their opinions to themselves. It’s unneeded. I love you to the moon 🌙 and back ! I didn’t forget you ! Can’t wait to see you again !


OHANA means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.  ~Lilo & Stitch

I know every family has it’s problems, but I admire those that stick together. ~Unknown Author


I am talking to myself also when I say this but please do not get so wrapped up in your own life that you can’t even take a few moments to call, skype, or even text your loved ones! If you have a bad memory and forget to call then set a reminder on your phone to remind you. It’s so ridiculous, we can spend hours on social media and doing other senseless things but we can’t find time to call our parents, siblings, grandparents, or close friends? I don’t get it ! It makes me ask the question what is really important to you in this life? People can’t be replaced, family is family ! Connect with and love them NOW while they are alive and you are able to build a relationship and memories with them because once they are gone , THEY ARE JUST GONE and there is nothing we can do about it ! Cherish your time with your loved ones now, build a relationship, grow with one another, uplift and support one another ! After all what is life without love and connection with others?


❤️ Love God & Love People ❤️

&

Be blessed ! Thanks for reading!

~ Natasha M

Visiting Familiar and Unfamiliar Places (Part II)

The longer I’m here visiting my family the more I begin to realize how little I actually really know about them and just life in general. I think one of my biggest flaws is thinking I know more than I do based solely off my interpretation of a situation. Silly me. I think a lot of times as humans we do this, some of us more than others. It is really a bad habit in my opinion. Realizing and coming to grip with this flaw has made me realize I have so much to learn and so much I need to be open enough to grow on.


Lately, I have been out and about spending time with family, attending my parent’s church, discovering new shows and eating random junk food. Overall, I am very thankful to be here with family. I’ve already had a few adventures and lack of sleep has seemed to already catch up with me ! I’ve gotten to see my brother who I haven’t seen in about two years, and we stayed up talking until like 4 a.m. knowing we had to be up that morning for church by 10 a.m. ! After I finally did go to bed, after sleeping for 6 hours I woke up and to my horror my voice was hoarse from laughing so much. It was not a good feeling. I could talk for the most part, but I couldn’t sing 🎶 while getting ready for church. 😶 Anyone that knows me knows how much I enjoy singing randomly throughout my day. As the day went on my throat started feeling better and now almost two weeks later, my voice feels pretty much back to normal, thank God. Despite that happening I can still say I definitely miss those long night “family talks.”


As I continue to spend time here on the east coast in this very humid and hot weather with my loved ones, I am sure I will continue to learn and explore new things, meet and spend time with family, see old friends and just enjoy my time here! ❤️☀️🎉✈️

My Grandma & Me – It feels like it has been forever since I got to see my Grammy! It’s always such a pleasure to spend time with her, she loves to giggle and seems to really enjoy people coming to visit her ! ❤️ She will be 91 this November !❤️🎉😍

My Dad & My Brother Acting Silly 🤣

My brother showing off his signed copy of my book Words Are Art


Happy Thursday all my wonderful subscribers, I want to say thank you for your patience and support ! ❤ I hope you enjoy reading and looking at pictures of my adventures for this series! Stay Tuned for Part lll of the Visting Familiar and Unfamiliar Places series to see which Olympic site & CNN center I visited !!! 🌇🇺🇸🏆☀️🛩🎥


The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. ~Socrates


Change and growing is important, but one of the main ways to do this is by gaining new perspectives. Gaining new perspectives helps us to view issues from different angles. If you are ready gain some new perspectives in order to change, grow for the better, & build new positive things !  Check out my book Words Are Art !

Say Something…

I have sang the song Say Something on the smule (sing) application quite a few times , but I am happy I finally got to do a cover of the acoustic version!🎤🎶🎼 Singing is such a destressor for me. This song really touches my heart every time I sing it, because for what seemed like forever I felt like I had given up on myself and my well being. I had sunk into depression and let that, anxiety and my mental illness diagnosis really take over my life and it was like I had given up on myself. I felt I needed to say something but instead I was giving up on my loved ones because I felt like even if I told them the truth of how I felt & what was going on, they wouldn’t accept or understand me. But most importantly I had given up on myself because all I wanted was to just be okay and it seemed impossible. I never realized how hard it was to say to people “I’m not okay, and I need help.” Gosh for so long I felt like couldn’t tell anyone, and it was eating at me. My mind screamed for HELP but my voice was silent . It was miserable back during this time . Life isn’t perfect but I’ve just gotten so tired of not using my voice and today I decided to say something and speak about my journey and struggles.
I am so thankful that today despite all I have been through in the last 4 years, I can say I am making progress to getting and feeling better overall. We all struggle with issues, and I never try to share my journey to get people to feel sorry for me. We all have been through something at some point in our lives. I use writing as an outlet to help me express myself and to make sense of what I’m going through. I use writing to show people despite how much the world, people , and illness try to tear you down there is still hope. Getting better is an option and is possible. Overcoming is real! Remember that and stay motivated , God has your back and troubles don’t last always. I know that now more than ever.

Check out me singing “Say Something (Acoustic Cover)” on Smule:

Say Something

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ~ Confucius

 

We continuously learn, so we grow as people . Our perspectives change and we cope better so we do better, because we get to a point where we know better. Open your hearts to learn, always. ❤️☀️ ~ Natasha M

✨Happy Friday my lovely subscribers ! Have fun! Be safe ! Stay awesome !✨🌴🌍🎭🎑📱📖🌆 🤘🏽

I Wait For Your Voice.

I wait for your voice but all I can hear is all the voices around me saying do this, do that, say this, say that, be this, be that. I want to only hear your voice, I want to know where you want me to go, what you want me to do, who you want me to be, I want to know you Lord. So I wait for your voice but all I keep hearing is the noise of sirens, of cries, of yelling, of war, of heart break, but I will wait, I wait for your voice but now all I can hear is my own voice accompanied by my thoughts screaming, you’re not enough, you’re never going to be in the right place, you’re never going to be complete, you’re never going to be healed, you’re never going to be unbroken, you’re never going to reach your full potential, and you’re going in the wrong direction. My voice says turn right, no turn left, no go straight, no go back, no just stand still but through all of this I wait. I wait for your voice because all I want to know is where you want me to go, what you want me to do, and who you want me to be. I want to know you Lord. So I will learn to be still,I will learn to block out the noises, and the voices of the world, I will learn to challenge and block out the self doubting thoughts. I will block out the do this, do that, say this, say that, be this, be that. I want to only hear your voice, I want to know where you want me to go Lord, what you want me to do and who you want me to be. I want to know you Lord, so I will wait for your voice.

Trust in the Lord God with all your heart.
All rights reserved. No part of this writing may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the writer.

Headphones in, Pencil in Hand, Notebook Ready….

I’ve been writing quite a bit lately, but I’ve posted none for my readers or subscribers. Sometimes I really do get lost in my notebook, and I just almost detach from the outside world. A good amount if not all of the material I have been writing lately will be included in my upcoming book.

 My upcoming book will contain some of the most heart wrenching and personal  moments I have experienced. 

Below you will find an excerpt from my UPCOMING BOOK : 

I  somehow convinced myself that things were different. Things had to be different, therefore the love I needed was also different. These statements are incorrect. My mind, body, and soul crave different. Different behavior patterns. Different outcomes.Different feelings. I just wanted different. I wanted different but for me things haven’t been different. I’ve covered and filled my emptiness and lack of belonging with a list of to do’s, I’ve covered it with laughter and smiles  that sometimes don’t even penetrate past the surface, to even begin to mend my broken  heart or fill the emptiness. If I take the meds and do everything I am supposed to do,then why does everything still feel the same ? Why has different fled from me? All I keep going through are the same symptoms and same feelings but all I want is different. I want change. But I have yet to get either. 

Release date coming soon !

All rights reserved. No part of the following writings may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the writer.

 

 

The Breakfast Club Talks About Mental Illness 

https://youtu.be/Jdtvi1khnQk

This show talks about a subject that I know all too well. I don’t even know where or how to start when it comes to talking about mental illness. I feel a lot of times, people like me who deal with mental illness are ashamed to even talk about the true pain and symptoms. For a long time I have been struggling in silence and hiding behind a smile, but I have decided enough is enough. I have began to be honest with my loved ones about the symptoms I have been suffering from. It has been a long journey.I hope this radio show (click on link above) helps to raise more awareness about mental illness and helps eliminate the stigmas.

You Think You Know Me?

You have no idea who I am. You have no idea what goes on inside my mind. None. I am everything you overlook. I am everything you wish didn’t exist. I am everything you can’t fix. 

You don’t care about me all you care about is what you see and who you want me to be. No flaws, no mistakes, no mess ups . Everything seems sugar coated in my favor. I don’t want it. I am all of that and more I am heavily flawed, and always messing up and making mistakes.

See me …. stop ignoring the parts of me that are the most broken.

I have felt more alone in the last two weeks than I can remember feeling in my entire life. I have began to feel numb to the world around me. Everything just feels like it’s happening and I’m just existing in a world I don’t belong in.

You have no idea who I am. You have no idea what goes on inside my mind. None. I am everything you overlook. I am everything you wish didn’t exist. I am everything you can’t fix.  

Signed, 

All I want is for the pain to stop.